Capstone:Skin Deep

Dottie Chandler 2020
House	Fine Arts
Advisor	Marilyn Gates
Plans	RSU, Community Counseling
Advice	Be kind to others. Be kind to your peers, to your teachers, to your family. Kindness is making the choice to be generous with people who deserve it, and sometimes, people who don't. If you need help, reach out to your teachers. They will absolutely help you with what you need! Don't procrastinate and do your work. A year may seem like all the time in the world, but I promise, it's going to go by in a flash.
Type	Portfolio
Subject	Humanity, Identity

In a series of paintings with TSAS subjects, I wanted to showcase many (but not all) people with different background and ethnicity. I wanted to show viewers that although we may look, speak, or act a different way from each other, it shouldn't divide us. Human beings, no matter the people we associated with, the choices we made, the lives we lived, will leave behind the same bones. What we see in each other, in ourselves, is essentially the same. There is no "us versus them." There's only "us."

How It Began

I described my capstone as "a series of paintings that speak for different types of people." It was exactly as I ended up with! I wanted to expose people to the concept of our differences being skin deep. Regardless of our born identities, we aren't different. Our cultures may be different, and our issues in life may be harder depending on circumstance, but that doesn't make anyone deserving of more than another person.

How It Changed

Not everything went exactly as I planned it! While I didn't ever change the premise of my Capstone, I had a lot of issues with productivity and eventually, a lack of supplies. I went from aiming for 24-25 models, down to 18, and finally, 16. I think, on my part, I was trying too hard and trying to do too much to make up for what I felt lacked compared to other Capstones I have seen. When Spring Break began, I was working at a good pace before running out of paint and waiting 2-3 weeks to go back at it! As a result of COVID-19, I was allowed to do half of what I was going for. Although I only have eight completed paintings, I had a lot of fun. I'm not a professional, but I hope that at least someone is touched by the intended meaning.

Reflection

I learned that it is a lot harder to do something than to say you're going to do them. I wanted to compensate for what I felt insecure about, and struggled a lot because of it. I think my takeaway, really, is to pace myself. I would go between periods of excess and then nothing at all, and felt a lot of grief for what I can and can't do. I realized, however, that I don't need to compare what I made to others. I realized it's okay to be proud of something, even if it doesn't look the way I was picturing it, because I still poured my heart in it. I loved doing it, and that made everything worth it.